Future Landscapes


Screw you and die, I hope you burn.

Here's the thing.

I was biking home from Danish lessons tonight. I was coming from Gothersgade to the bridge to Norrebrogade.

On Sunday, I played squash. It's the first time I've done anything physically demanding (if you don't count biking like 15km per day physically demanding, which I don't in this flat as me arse country), and my entire body is in pain. Mega pain. Like, my legs can hardly peddle pain. So I'm trying to avoid the whole stop-start thing while cycling, to spare my legs the demands of a one-speed bike.

Anyways, I get to this corner thing by the bridge, where the light is red. I have to make a right turn onto the bridge. Normally you'd think that would be fine, but here you're not allowed to turn right on red, so I'd have to stop, wait for the light to turn, and then start again. Stopping and starting=Legs=pain, so let's keep that to a minimum. It's almost 8pm, and there's hardly anyone out. I decide to cut the corner by going onto the enormous paved sidewalk beside the bridge. There's no one on the pavement but an old man walking his dog.

Immediately when I get my front tire onto the pavement, he starts waving his arms and flailing and yelling in Danish. I'm like 'ohmygod what happened did someone die?' (in my head) and 'I only speak English!' out loud.


me: *stares at completely empty sidewalk with zero people besides him and me* 'uhhhh. And dogs!' (I add, helpfully)

He gives me a look of disgust and turns away.

I mean REALLY. I know it's a sidewalk, and I normally never cut the corner during the day, I am usually the first one to get annoyed with the impatient bike riders and their inability to follow basic traffic rules. But it's pitch night out, all the Danes are hygge-ing at home, and my legs flippin' hurt.

I know it's dumb, but it made me so angry! I got over the bridge and at the next light, slowed down like a good, law abiding citizen. And proceeded to watch several of the old man's countrymen plough through the stoplight like it was nothing. But hey, who am I to say anything?

There are so many inconsiderate bikers, you don't even know. They spit while biking (STAB!), they pitch their burning cigarette stubs behind them without a thought (STABSTAB), they don't bother to look over their shoulders while passing in narrow lanes, and they follow too closely until you can feel the friction passing from their front tire to your back one, and you think that some form of gravitational pull is going to make the tires meet and cause a deadly crash. They speed past without ringing their bells; otherwise they think their bell is some kind of aggression indicator and use it angrily.

I've seen bikers get into accidents with other bikers at intersections cause they just can't stand the thought of slowing down for the light. (It's like that with cars too, yellow doesn't mean 'slow down to stop' here, it means 'pedal to the medal and Eff anyone in the way') Worse than that, they don't even stop when they cause accidents, they might look over their shoulder and say 'Undskyld!' if you're LUCKY. One morning there was a woman left moaning on the ground because some dumbass biker clipped her front tire while she was waiting to cross an intersection. Bah!

So, you know what, old man with the dog on the bridge? Don't be all angry at ME when I do something like take a shortcut when there's absolutely zero people out and no risk for anyone to get hurt. Take it out on the people who are stupid when it actually matters. Hmmph!

Angry bikers. They'll get ya.